handcrafted decoupage glass trays featuring original art & inspirational messages

Swearware Pottery

I Am Totally Psychic

Sheree Burlington2 Comments

I left the diner Monday morning at the usual time. I was feeling impatient and didn't feel like waiting to cross the oncoming traffic so I took a right instead of a left. See, I was in a big rush to get to work to start another 12 hour day.

So I'm driving my dad's truck. The back of it is full of pottery that we didn't sell at the lame retail show, where we spent the entire weekend standing around & yawning. Two days of listening to people tell me how "cute" my pottery is. Oh, please. My pottery is Fresh. Edgy. Sophisticated. Cute?! Take your sorry ass to Wal-Mart and buy something covered with bunnies.

Anyhow, the truck is a 2000 Chevy Avalanche and everything about it is huge. I look down at all the little people when I drive the thing. They look up at me and see a wasteful consumer of our natural resources. They're right. The gas gauge moves when I accelerate. Sorry. I just needed to haul some stuff.

Ok, so I'm driving along and in my mind, I see a car run the stop sign - the one that's like five seconds away - and slam into the side of my car. I see it as clearly as if it were actually happening. Feel the force of the impact. And I think, wow, good thing I'm driving dad's truck because at the speed it was traveling, I'd have been killed. The feeling is so weird and so real that all the hair on my arms stands on end. I slow down.

Seconds later, I am ready to enter the intersection and what do you think happens? YES! A fricken car runs the stop sign! She's in a little red car and she is flying! When she sees me miss her by feet she covers her mouth with her hand and brakes. I can see all this - I'm that close. I'm that psychic.

I have no idea what to do with this new found information or what it means for my previously unknown future. What I do know is that it creeped me out. In a good way. Look for my new 800 number in a future post. I can help you. I know things.

Pimp My Blog.

Sheree Burlington6 Comments

Pssst. You. Over there. C'mere. You look like you could use some. Well, I got some. And it is fi-ine stuff. All you need to do in order to get some is go to one of these three places. Maybe you'll get lucky. Suburb Sanity is pimpin' my stuff. Handmade Showcase, too. Give me a minute, I'll come up with something is pimping Swearware. She totally bribed me, got a free mug and is now working in my stables. You could be next. Have your people contact my people.

Shameless Self Promotion.

Sheree Burlington6 Comments

It's almost that time again. Peace. Good will. Wandering around the mall for hours, buying useless stuff you can't afford for people who don't need it. Stuff they won't even remember once the wrapping paper is cleared away. My new attitude goes like this: Give gifts they can't help but remember. "Oh." Silence. "A Fuck You mug. How nice. Thank you dear."

This year, join me in spreading my particular brand of Christmas cheer. Go to my very cool site Whether you decide to be naughty or nice, use the code broad when you check out & receive an incredibly generous 50% discount. Since I'm pretty sure that I only have about three readers, what may look like generosity is actually a bribe. Convince me that you should have one for free and I'll have my people contact your people. (I love that expression.)